The police blotter is the best thing about the local paper:

First United Methodist Church, 576 Kellogg Ave., reported a man taking off his clothes, swearing and throwing rocks at the church April 17.
...
David Ficken, 516 N. Dakota Ave. No. 47, reported seeing an eight-foot hairy person ripping down trees near a trailer court April 18.

UPDATE: The police blotter from VEISHEA Friday evening is available now too. Looks pretty tame, though there is at least one good story in there:

An unidentified male reported he had to dive out of a second story window at 824 Clark Ave. to escape people who he said were trying to beat him up April 21. An officer investigated.