I guess I'm Iowa for the next 24 hours or so. The swans say "honk."

On my way out here, I stopped in Chamberlain for a family reunion that lasted a few hours. I've been to a few of these deals, but still it seems like every time the family that shows up is completely different. There were a few people I recognized, but the rest I swear I have never seen before in my life. Just like the last six reunions.

The only possible explanation I can come up with is that someone in my mother's family has an agreement with the Witness Protection Agency. The feds give Aunt Beatrice some names, and suddenly I'm shaking hands with "long-lost third cousin Ted" who of course hasn't seen me since I was "this big." I guess it's not so bad, except that cousin Ted's ten year-old son has grown morbidly obese in his young age, and for some reason enjoys whipped creme wrestling while out for a day on the beach. Even when there is no beach.

Other than that, it has been a pretty boring trip. I think I heard the same broadcast of A Prairie Home Companion three times, which got a little tiring. Now I can understand why Tori hates the guy so much. What happened to you anyway, Tori? I'm told you're out there somewhere.

News flash: Liberia still screwed. I hope we land troops soon.