Really Dumb Questions

They're "rhetorical".

• How do you ship boxes?
• What do you call someone who hates bigots?  A bigot bigot?
• Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?
• Why is it that if you send something by a car, it's a shipment, but if you send by ship, it's cargo?
• When is a building a built?
• So then, where do they build buildings?  A building building?
• What does a florist get his girlfriend if he does something wrong?
• Why is it that you get a pair of panties, but just one bra?
• If Denny's and 7-11 are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
• How does the world's shortest man get on carnival rides?
• How come if you cut the ends off a string, the string still has two ends?
• Can cops get parking tickets?  If so, who tickets them?
• You know those "Thin Ice" signs?  Who puts them there?
• What's so important about hog futures?  Hogs don't have futures.
• If you blow out all the candles on your birthday cake and then wish that one candle stays lit, do you get your wish?
• Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
• If you shouldn't sweat the petty things, should you pet the sweaty things?
• If a tin whistle is made of tin, what is a fog horn made of?
• If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do you need a driver's license to by liquor?
• Okay then, smart guy, why are there parking lots at bars?
• How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?
• If you're trying to solve Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
• Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?
• Does the reverse side also have a reverse side? If so, how can you tell them apart?
• If you tied buttered toast onto the back of a cat and dropped him from a height, what will happen?  (possible research paper)
• Why do they nail down coffins?
• How are you supposed to carry one of those lamps that turns on when you touch it without getting blinded?
• If your lights are hooked up to The Clapper™ and you're watching a live concert on TV, what would happen if the audience started applauding?
• Why is rush hour so slow?
• Why do firefighters practice keeping buildings from burning down by burning down buildings?
• Why do people always put their keyless entry remotes on their keychains right next to their keys?
• Why are lethal injection needles sterilized before executions?
• If Jesus was Jewish, why did he have a Mexican name?
• If you lose your virginity, where does it go?
• If the #2 pencil is the most popular, how come it's still number 2?
• What's the french word for "boquet"?
• If you were to go and make a plane out of the indestructible stuff they make the little black boxes out of, would you still have to make the indestructible black boxes indestructible?
• Why is the "Jerry Springer Show" called a talk show when nobody ever sits down and talks?
• Should you brush your teeth during a fast?
• If you were to take a quarter pounder and throw on pickles, onions, ketchup, and other condiments so that it weighed more, would you still be eating a quarter pounder?
• Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to?
• What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
• When the garbage collectors come to your house, how would you throw away a trash can?
• What would happen if a smoke detector started on fire?
• Why is Greenland icy and Iceland green?
• How can your feet smell if they don't have a nose? (submitted by John Leopaldi)
• If these are dumb questions, how can... oh, forget it. ((smile))

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