Several weeks ago I met a faculty member called Cheryl Keen. She is the Dean of Students, and it seems that most of the students hate her. She has already expelled 5 students, for various and sundry infractions of the massive "Code of Conduct" that she seems to know by heart. She lives her life by this code, and is rather scary in a number of ways. She is nice enough to talk to, but she is trying to get Antioch shut down, for some reason. She smiles constantly, and this is rather chilling. I think if she were witness to a mass suicide, or a towering inferno that killed thousands, she would be grinning from ear to ear. She is the most evil personality on campus, and it is for these reasons (and others) that
I AM CHERYL KEEN FOR HALLOWEEN.
Also, Leah from down the hall tells me that we can keep sleeping together, but that we shouldn't get too involved, because she has a boyfriend at home. She loves him, and she doesn't want to take my virginity. I guess I'm okay with that, until I can find a better girl. I suppose it means that I am single, but if I want a hummer, I should knock on her door. Funny how that worked out.
There's a rock show tonight on campus, some punk bands from Dayton or something are gonna rock it Ohio style. Next week I get see Belle & Sebastian in Columbus. Five of us are going from my dorm, and were going to propose to people in the band. I guess I wouldn't mind being a Belle & Sebastian groupie.
Tonight I get to yell at people and tell them "YOU ARE EXPELLED!" in my best D. of S. voice. I get to take more acid, and Shaun Fleek and I are going to epoxy Cheryl Keen's office door shut. I hope I don't get lost in the woods again. I need to buy some eggs.
Woo! Pranks and LSD!
I'm still in negotiation for that thing (you know, that thing), so continue that making with the patience. The dealers on campus here all have ADHD, and none of them can do math in their head. It is a painstaking process.
23
I woke up today to the gravelly voice of Joel talking to Leonor downstairs in the common room. It was the first time I have woken without an alarm before eight while I have been here. It was also the first time I heard Joel talk about his beliefs. He pratted on about Jewish mysticism and Zen Buddhism for thirty minutes or so. At first I was bothered by the early hour, for eight in the morning is not a good time for me to talk about religion and spirituality, but after a bit I got into his insane mutterings on the grand unification theory of religion. It seems he is a Baha'i and didn't even know it. I traded books with him after we ate breakfast. He gave me a book on Kabala, and I gave him a book of Baha'i writings, "The Seven Valleys and The Four Valleys." Good stuff.
Last night I told Liz, who is in my German class, that I would wake her up this morning, and I pounded on her door for ten minutes to try to wake her before class started. It didn't work, and I was fearful that she really would sleep through class again, but she woke up on her own and made it to class on time today. I was most happy for her. Attendance is very important to professors here. Three classes missed means NO CREDIT in all but a few classes, and I know that many people around me cut class much too often to actually make it through the year.
Joel and I got to talking about how easy it really is to stay here and get a good education; and how easy it is to slack off just a little too much and ruin it all. It is a great place to live and learn, but many students don't seem to understand that they need to stand on their own feet now, or that no one is going to do their homework for them. There are way too many pot-smokers, and too many parties (the weekend seems to start on Thursday here), and I fear that too many of the friends I have made will not be here after this term. I fear that their ways of excess will ruin them and their academic standing to such a degree that they will not be allowed to stay here in this wonderful place. They are nice enough people, and I try to help with advice, but the suggestion that they ought to moderate their behavior is something that is met with shifty looks, and strange responses.
--"You don't smoke pot? What the hell is WRONG with you?"
--"Nothing, what the hell is wrong with YOU?"
--"Man, you're no fun."
--"No, I just value my intelligence."
OR
--"C'mon man, it's just a keg party!"
--"It's fucking Tuesday."
--"Hell YEAH!! WOOOO!"
You just can't help some people.
I took a quiz (damn quizzes), and I guess I'm goth. Who knew?
23
I stayed up all night again, and at 6am I did calculus homework. I then went to the library in shorts and a short sleeved shirt. It began to rain as I paged through the history of New York City. I read about the reality behind Gangs of New York, and discovered that there actually was a 'Priest' Vallon, and a 'Bill the Butcher,' although they never fought each other. Vallon never had any affiliation with any Dead Rabbits (although they did exist), but the Butcher did indeed take part in the draft riots of 1863. These are some of the things I learned as it began to rain in torrents outside.
I read for a number of hours, and then meekly removed myself into the downpour. I ran to the nearest building, and stayed inside for a few minutes, and from there ran to the next nearest building. I carried on in this manner until I got to the cafeteria, in order to stay as dry as possible. I got plenty wet, but not so much as I would have if I had only strolled across campus.
After I ate brunch (brunch all weekend, yecch), I returned to my dorm and read philosophy for nine or ten hours. I then took a short nap, and awoke to embraces from this girl in my dorm, for some reason.
Now I am at work. When I leave this computer lab, fall break will be over.
So sad.
23
I slept all of Sunday, and awoke today at 4am, and I found myself wide awake on an empty campus. I put on a sweater and walked around.
I heard guitar playing and drums, and made my way to the student center to hear it a bit more closely. Kevin was jammin in his practice space above the cafeteria, and I could see him through the window. He saw me and stopped playing to shout at me to join him up there. I took the cue, and made my way into the center to get access to coffee and guitar music. I went into the main entrance of the building and up the back stairs, as I thought that was the way to get to the practice spaces. The school offers students who have musical aptitudes rooms in which to jam, and be real loud anytime they want. It seems Kevin wanted to be real loud at 4am on Monday morning.
It turned out that the doors upstairs that would afford me access to the practice spaces were all locked, and after a few minutes pulling at each of the knobs, I gave up and went back outside to throw my arms in the air to Kevin's surprise. He motioned for me to enter the building through the side door, and I did, and found him in a room with some guys he met at Steak 'n Shake. They were smoking pot, drinking coffee, playing music like they were drunk, and very loud. I sat and listened, but didn't really have anything to contribute, so I excused myself after about an hour.
I went back to bed, and woke up again at 4pm, to go to work.
After work I went back to bed, and woke up at 11pm.
I have been awake since then, waiting.
23
I slept all day. I mean it. I dreamed of a black tiger.
It was black, but it wasn't a Siberian one, it was black with orange and white stripes, like no other tiger.
Before I went to sleep Brenna told me that I will be worth money someday, and then Leah told me that "we need to fuck sometime," and I think that's a good idea.
23
Today I awoke at 11am, and went to eat some brunch in the cafeteria. Terrible food they serve us, but I had to eat. I sat with people I have become pretty good friends with in the month and weeks I have been here. Someone had moved one of the round tables so that it abut another, and it was the "butt table," according to Hannah. She sat in the butthole, and enjoyed her eggs.
After brunch, I went with Anne to her dorm, and she told me that we were going to go to the Glen shortly, to trip. We ate our tabs with some friends of hers from Massachusetts--Laura, Craig, and Nick. She had a fourth friend, Tim, who stayed away from the drug for the day. It was everyone's first time on acid, except for me. It seems the city kids were freaked out that Anne and I wanted to trip in the woods all day, and after about two hours in the trees, they left us. I can't figure that out, except to think that they are unused to walking anywhere for more than the distance of a few blocks.
I tripped with beautiful trees, a beautiful girl, and a stream flowing near us. I have never felt more like a hippy in my life. We carried on in silence most of the time we spent in the trees, and only talked when we saw something incredible. We witnessed the fish, hallucinated some colors in the sky, and talked about childhood.
We walked and talked, and in spite of the fact that we were on acid, I noticed totally that it was probably the most romantic thing I had done, ever in my life. It was funny, and we kept looking at each other in a funny way, because we both knew that we were getting way more out of the forest than anyone else that day. Her friends waited for us at her dorm, and we all missed the evening meal. In all, it was the greatest trip I've ever had.
I went to sleep after getting some of Brenna's rum, and she showed me some new clothes that she got as gifts. Sexy stuff. It seems like my powers of drama repellence have become an asset in terms of physical attraction for the girls who are looking for some guy who won't take unfair advantage of them. I haven't caused or had any drama since I have come here, and it appears that some girls have noticed. I just hope something gets done about that "lack of drama" before I lose track of my emotions.
23
Fall break just started. Most of the students on campus are going home or on road trips for the next five days, and I am one of the few who is staying behind. I have goals for the weekend:
I am about to start a syndicate on campus. I have already joined the SACDD (Students Against Capitalist Drug Dealing) chapter, and my syndicate will use the power of the people to drive dose prices to ten year lows!
I need to go now, the alcohol is waiting.
23
I think I had a good weekend, I guess I can't be totally sure. I wasn't actually aware of most of my surroundings for the weekend. I took mind-altering chemicals, I freaked out, and scared most of hallmates. They were genuinely worried about me for the night or two that I wigged out. It seemed to me that everyone on campus took acid this weekend, and we were all tripping together, tripping off of one another, and that was beautiful. I saw visions, I walked into the trees, and I got lost there. I thought Freemasons were following me, and I got really scared in the woods. There were bridges, and there were cars and people laughing from the trees in the dark. I was very frightened. I understand now the nature of light occupying four dimensions. I now see the world in a different way, I don't take light for granted anymore. It makes me feel insignificant to know that everywhere I go I am just getting in light's way. I believe in magic now. I saw rainbows, I saw sources of light were there were none, and I saw the darkness move like smoke out of a doorway into a lighted hallway. I made eye contact with a deer (we really had a moment together), and then I watched some other deer wrestle and tackle each other. I gave a boy a drink of water, and I can't be sure that he was really there, he got in a car (or did he?) and left for Xenia. I know the power of light and darkness, and it rather frightens me.
If you want me to send you some LSD, call me, and we will talk on the phone.
23
